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PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:21 pm 
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DCinFrance wrote:
Thanks. Nice to see you too, Red.


:lol:

I actually missed my annual email to you this year. But I do have a good excuse. It's good to see you posting again. Real glad to hear Cici has found her niche in this world. Nate I always figured to be a session drummer or a rock star. If you have pictures of the new studio send them on. I know you moved not too many years ago, so I'd love to see the new setup.

Oh btw, dining room isn't red anymore, but kitchen is, so moniker remains.

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GSMUSIC: Hey RZ, Im not no upper class american, the gear I own is what I have special to me. My car sucks, my house sucks, my nieghborhood sucks. Does yours RZ? Does it?

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:11 am 
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Good to see you're all doing well, David. I wish the distance wasn't that big. More than once I've thought about stepping in the car and drive to Nice.

Here all is well. The dream job isn't a dream job but it's as close as it ever got in my career. I certainly have grown as a teacher. Still a lot to do and learn. Enjoying it immensely. Lotte is 9 and doing well at school. Janneke will turn 6 next week and tries to bend her parent's rules. Music has come to a standstill but I feel like picking it up again. I'd like to write one or two new songs this summer. We'll see what happens.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:03 pm 
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A family is driving behind an Ann Summers delivery lorry...

...when a large dildo flies out & hits their windscreen. To hide her embarrassment the mother says to the children "That was a big insect".

To which the 7 year old son replies "I'm surprised it could fly with a dick that size...

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:46 pm 
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This guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door.

There are two sheriff's deputies on his doorstep; he asks if there is a problem.

One of the deputies asks if he is married, and if so, can he see a picture of his wife.

The guy says "sure" and shows him a picture of his wife.

The sheriff says, "I'm sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

The guy says, "I know, but she has a great personality, is an excellent cook and lets me play golf whenever I want to!"

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GSMUSIC: Hey RZ, Im not no upper class american, the gear I own is what I have special to me. My car sucks, my house sucks, my nieghborhood sucks. Does yours RZ? Does it?

rz-land


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 5:24 pm 
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Wow...dunno how I missed "the" post a few weeks ago...

DC...dat you? Hope all is well in the hills; hope the wine is precocious, the studio full and the family is well...What are you tracking with/on these days? Did ya recycle the Yammie?

I try to visit your myspace now and then...



Salud!

Bok(Jim)

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:05 pm 
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A successful business man decides he's tired of all the stress and wants to chuck it all. He takes a drive in the country and, seeing all the farms, says, "That's for me. I want to be a farmer". He pulls up the driveway of a dairy farm and, seeing a group of farmers talkin' bullshit, asks if they have any cows for sale. They all look at each other, smile, wink and nod, and knowing the guy has no clue what he's doing, tells the business man, yeah sure, no problem. They trot out the two worst cows in their collective herds. After a year, the farmers are astonished. The former business man has a huge dairy farm with a hundred head, big new barn, silos...the works. The group of farmers pay the man a visit and say to him, "look, we're sorry...we sold you two of the oldest, most tired cows we had and charged you ten times the price. Now, look at all this. How did you do it?" The former business man says, "It's simple. Every morning I have a meeting with the cows, and I ask them one simple question." "What's that?', ask the farmers in unison. "I ask, 'Okay, ladies, what are we selling today? Milk? Or Meat?'"

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:13 pm 
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Hey Jim. Yeah, doing well. I gave the G to a friend of mine some time ago. No use selling it--the happiness it brought the guy was worth much more than the 100€ I could get for it after the 1000€ I paid. I'm running an Alesis HD24XR. The work is coming fast and furious, plus I'm getting sucked into managing some bands and putting up concerts...some of my better artists you'll find on MySpace or Facebook: Toxxic Toyz, Rocket Queens (my personal favorite) and Harmonic Generator. Making some money at it too, but certainly not enough to quit the day job yet.

Thanks for the invite, Red. You and your better half are looking good. You can check out the studio as it was on my Facebook page. As always, I'm DCinFrance.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:58 pm 
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God said to Adam, "I am going to make you a helper, a companion. What would you like your companion to be like?" Adam replied, "Well I want someone that is humorous, witty, intelligent, compassionate, caring, loving, trusting, polite, generous and beautiful."

God paused a moment after Adam's wish list and told Adam that a companion like that 'would cost him an arm and a leg.' Adam seemed a little dejected and then brightly replied: "What can I get for a Rib?"
============
Another funny, well, too me it was! Two or three years ago my son asked me, "Dad, do you know why Helen Keller can't drive?" I said, "Because she's blind." He said, "No, because she's a woman!" Fast forward to a couple months ago and one of my daughter's asked the same question, "Dad, do you know why Helen Keller can't drive?" I was ready this time and replied, "Yeah, 'cause she's a woman!" My daughter replies, "Duh, because she's dead!" Sigh.... :roll:


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:10 pm 
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A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets.

"Who's the other ticket for?" the ticket girl asked.

"For my pet chicken." He said, pointing to the bird.

"I'm sorry," the girl tells him, "but we don't allow animals in the theater."

The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down.

The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark to unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out.

The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Amanda and whispered, "Amanda! This man next to me just unzipped his pants!"

Amanda replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Just ignore him. If you've seen one, you've seen them all."

The woman whispered back, "I know, I know, but this one's eating my popcorn!"


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:12 pm 
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Talking Dog for Sale-$10

A man walks by a house that has a dog tied up outside and a sign that reads “Talking Dog for Sale-$10.”

“What’s your story?” the man asks.

“Well,” the mutt says, “when my owner discovered I could speak, he signed me up with the CIA, which flew me all over the world on eavesdropping missions. I took down a lot of high-profile targets, won medals and retired out here in the country”.

Amazed, the man goes inside and asks the owner why he wants only $10 for this remarkable animal.

“Because he’s a liar,” the owner says. “He ain't never left the yard.”


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 5:58 pm 
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A man goes into a bookstore and asks the young lady assistant:

"Do you have the new book out for men with short penises? I can't remember the title.”

She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."

The man said, "that's the one, I'll take a copy

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 6:37 pm 
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Robbie The Botkiller
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:lol:


A blond woman walks into the library and asks the librarian: two fish 'n chips please.

Librarian says: lady you're in a library!

Woman, now whispering: apologies, two fish 'n chips please...

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 8:10 pm 
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If sex between 3 people is called a 'threesome',

and between 2 people is called a "twosome",

I know why you are called handsome!

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GSMUSIC: Hey RZ, Im not no upper class american, the gear I own is what I have special to me. My car sucks, my house sucks, my nieghborhood sucks. Does yours RZ? Does it?

rz-land


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 8:21 pm 
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Robbie The Botkiller
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Lonesome?

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 3:37 pm 
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Robbie wrote:
Lonesome?



Lonesome, handsome . . . same thing. :wink:

_________________
GSMUSIC: Hey RZ, Im not no upper class american, the gear I own is what I have special to me. My car sucks, my house sucks, my nieghborhood sucks. Does yours RZ? Does it?

rz-land


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:14 pm 
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Teacher says: remember, you have a testpaper tomorrow, so don't come with silly excuses why you can't make the testpaper - I won't accept any of them.
Student: but sir, what if I'm totally utterly exhausted by intensive sex?
Teacher: then you can write with your left hand.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 6:52 pm 
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A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.
...
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee and says, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes I do," she replies.

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued... "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'"

"I remember that too," she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said..."I would have gotten out today.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 8:06 pm 
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An international joke, heard this some time ago from one of my bandmates ...

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:13 pm 
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i should have said 'stop me if you've heard this before...'

:wink:

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 6:01 pm 
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Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man
walking with his legs spread apart.
He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have.
Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"

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